Monday, May 16, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
|40 Austin's 13th Birthday 2012-Edit by Meredith Bell is licensed under CC BY 2.0|
I'm suddenly at mid-life and now that it's really hitting me, I'm freaking out! Sure, I've done a lot in my 40 years. But what have I really accomplished? What do I still want to do? Will I ever realize those dreams I keep talking about?
I've traveled, but I want to travel more. I want to see new places, experience new cultures and show my children how big the world really is.
I've built relationships that have lasted through some tough times and I've lost some friends along the way, too. I want to continue to nourish those friendships and connections that are meaningful. And I want to release the ones that hurt too much or are too exhausting to manage.
I got married, I became a mother and together with Hubby I created a family. I want to continue to build that family by investing time and energy into it. I want to be present in their presence and I want to feed not just their bellies but their souls.
I've written, but not enough for my liking. I want to invest time in my passion. I want to write things that touch the hearts of others. I want use my writing to connect with new friends and change lives in both the biggest and smallest ways.
I've learned something new--about life, love, myself, the world--with every passing day and year. I want to continue to learn each day, knowing that with every lesson comes the responsibility to teach others.
I've lost weight and I've gained it again (thanks to two back-to-back pregnancies and the choice to give in to every. single. craving.). I want to create a life of healthy habits again and find that balance between obsession and resignation. I will choose foods and activities that nourish me. I will take the time I need to care for myself, as well as my family. And if all that results in a smaller waistline, I'll take that, too.
If I accomplish even a few of these things in the next 40 years, I think I'll have done well in my time on this Earth. Here's to 40 more!
Friday, January 01, 2016
|HK 2016 Countdown by Calvin YC is licensed under CC BY 2.0|
Monday, July 06, 2015
|"Multitasker, Duplo-Thinkpad" by Thomas Angermann is licensed under CC BY 2.0|
I've said it before, and I'm saying it again: I have a million ideas for blog posts, but finding the time to think them through and type them up is a challenge, to say the least. When you're raising a freelance business along side a family, especially when that family includes two Littles under three, getting anything other than the necessities done is a miracle. (I don't use that term lightly here. I truly believe it's miraculous when I manage to clean the bathroom before it's a disgusting mess that demands cleaning.)
Right now, I have fifteen minutes to write this post. I'm squeezing blogging in between three hours of freelance work and a long list of household tasks I hope to get done before picking up the boys at the sitter. Fifteen minutes doesn't leave room for much thought or editing, but it's enough to get things started. It's enough to move myself forward and to begin. I may not finish in that time, but I'm making progress, and that's better than letting this site sit stagnant while I wish and hope for time to write more, blog more, do more.
Right now, my life is revolving around the mantra: What You Can, When You Can. If you're a busy gal (or guy) who's trying to make any sort of life changes and you haven't heard this mantra, or don't know about the #wycwyc (wick-wick) movement, you should definitely check it out. (I have more to say about this later, but for now, this will have to suffice.)
Speaking of freelance work (I know, worst segue ever!): I've been blogging for The Penny Hoarder and am loving the opportunity to write about ways that SAHMs and WAHMs can make and save more money. Those are topics that I'm pretty passionate about these days, as we live on a limited budget ourselves and are trying to make a move into a bigger house in a better neighborhood. If you're interested in what I've been writing, or just want tips on saving money (or making more of it), check out the pieces I've published so far:
- Walmart Hacks: 8 Ways to Save Even More Money on Groceries
- Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle: 11 Earth-Friendly Ways to Save Money
- Love Don't Cost a Thing: 11 Cheap Date Ideas for Cash-Strapped Parents
- Going Back to Work After Staying Home with the Kids? Avoid the "Motherhood Penalty"
- 10 Fun Summer Activities for Kids That Won't Break Your Budget
- 7 Low-Cost Ways to Throw an Awesome Kid's Birthday Party
Friday, July 03, 2015
|"Clock" by Dineshraj Goomany is licensed under CC BY 2.0.|
After reading the essay (all of it) myself, I sent her a note back. It hadn't seemed THAT dreadful to me. I had, in fact, been able to connect with the writer through her essay, but only after I pushed through a flowery beginning and waded through some roughly worded paragraphs to get to the point: Motherhood is hard and sometimes we need a break, even if that break isn't doing what we'd really love to be doing. At least that's the point I took away from it. (This may say more about where I'm at in my life than about the author's intent and skill, though.)
As I responded to my friend, I found myself thinking a thought I'd had plenty of times before. If this author could publish such a poorly written essay, why can't I get published?
The answer wasn't far behind: Because you're not writing.
That's not entirely true. I have a couple of freelance jobs going, but they're more editing and formatting than writing. I'm writing this blog post--right here, right now. And I'm always jotting notes for the books and stories and essays I want to write WHEN. You know: WHEN.
WHEN I have time.
WHEN the kids are older.
WHEN I'm not so tired.
WHEN the house is clean.
WHEN I'm a better writer.
I know you have them, too. They may not be the same as mine, but I'm sure you have your own WHENs. WHENs are those things that hold us back before we even get started. They give us room to wait, when what we really need to be doing is plowing forward, pushing the WHENs to the side and experiencing the NOWs.
When I sit down to write, finally taking advantage of one of the many short-but-quiet moments life lends me each day, I realize there are NOWs waiting for me.
NOW this feels right.
NOW I have so many stories to tell.
NOW I can write while the kids are napping.
NOW I don't care if the house is clean.
NOW I'm a writer.
The words flow and the negative Inner Editor quiets down, if only for a few minutes. I put words to page and feel that rush of relief and the peace of knowing I'm doing what makes me alive, happy, full.
I realize in those moments that the WHENs are just excuses to stay stuck in the daily grind, in the self-doubt and discontent. Once I start writing despite the WHENs, I find the NOWs were waiting for me all along.
What are your WHENs? How can you move into the NOW?
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Lately, I get most of my reading material from my Facebook newsfeed. Thanks to a widely varied friends list plus my own varied list of Page likes, I get to read about everything from yoga to politics to parenting on any give day. Today, I clicked on one of those shared pieces and it touched me so deeply that I immediately came to my blog to respond.
I am who I am and how I am, right now. I won't be that person tomorrow or next month or next year, because I am always changing and growing. But every day I will look at myself in the mirror and I will send myself love rather than disappointment and negativity. And from that love, change will come.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
I have something to admit. Something I hate to even type, much less say out loud. Being the perfectionist that I am, I can barely bring myself to think it. But here it is: